With the hangover of 31st night, I was relaxed and busy in my thoughts, planning for the new year ahead. I had purposely kept my phone off to avoid any disturbance in my drill to plan for another year. After long time, I had a blast on the New Year Eve, friends, signature the perfect combo to make any party rocking!! It was a hit with humour, dance, old memories and new resolutions. 3 AM Geeta wished everyone good bye, I had enough of signature to hold me. Another day started quite late with full of excitement carrying forward with the last night. I was relaxed, recharged to start another day, another year. Dreaming of achieving all what I was planning, planning to make all my dreams true. It was a pleasant and relaxed day.
Just like a twist in some hindi film, I got a call from Japs and what he was saying was tough to believe, I almost asked him five times to make sure he is saying exactly what I was hearing. Vikas Singh, one of my teammate was no more. He died of Heart Attack, the same day. Once again the uncertainties of Life scared me. I was angry, I was upset, I was depressed. His face with that smile appeared again and again. It took another call from Vishal to make me believe that he was no more with us. I got ready to reach hospital, I did not have energy to drive. My body was numb to react. I called up my driver to come to drive me there. My anxiety and restlessness did not wait for him and I was driving towards Metro where other people were waiting for his Parents to reach from Bijnaur. Though I did not get much chance to talk and know Vikas but he was very close to me. As close as everyone else in my office. Sometimes I feel, I dont know them but I love them, they appear like kids to me. They respect me, they make fun of me, sometimes even abuse me, they hate me, they love me but I just adore them, its a Family. I used to check with Vikas every morning about his health and just like a casual teen, he was easy going with his health. He used to complain of his pain with a smile and the same line every morning, 'Sir, theek ho jayega'. I believed him. Nothing changes, yet everything has changed. His parents life is not going to be the same again. I was amazed to see the strength of his father. The way he accepted this tragedy. I cannot imagine his pain but he appeared calm with all the storm inside for himself, not letting anybody to touch it. His words, his face kept me struggling to understand the LIFE throughout the journey back from Bijnaur. I was not able to see through my thoughts and our driver was striving equally hard to find the road. It was worst of the fog, with visibility of just a meter or so, same was the state of my mind. I was not able to see anything, think anything. Trying hard to accept the unknown power, his ways to manage the existence, unsuccessful attempt to find some good in it, loads of Whys. Answer was sitting next to me in that small car which was struggling to move forward, driver just aiming to keep in sight the white strip along the divider. I found my answer in Gaurav's descriptions of his childhood at Modinagar, his trademark laughter, his energy, his comments full of life.
The Life must go on, same were the words of Vikas' Father, The Life must go on...
Just like a twist in some hindi film, I got a call from Japs and what he was saying was tough to believe, I almost asked him five times to make sure he is saying exactly what I was hearing. Vikas Singh, one of my teammate was no more. He died of Heart Attack, the same day. Once again the uncertainties of Life scared me. I was angry, I was upset, I was depressed. His face with that smile appeared again and again. It took another call from Vishal to make me believe that he was no more with us. I got ready to reach hospital, I did not have energy to drive. My body was numb to react. I called up my driver to come to drive me there. My anxiety and restlessness did not wait for him and I was driving towards Metro where other people were waiting for his Parents to reach from Bijnaur. Though I did not get much chance to talk and know Vikas but he was very close to me. As close as everyone else in my office. Sometimes I feel, I dont know them but I love them, they appear like kids to me. They respect me, they make fun of me, sometimes even abuse me, they hate me, they love me but I just adore them, its a Family. I used to check with Vikas every morning about his health and just like a casual teen, he was easy going with his health. He used to complain of his pain with a smile and the same line every morning, 'Sir, theek ho jayega'. I believed him. Nothing changes, yet everything has changed. His parents life is not going to be the same again. I was amazed to see the strength of his father. The way he accepted this tragedy. I cannot imagine his pain but he appeared calm with all the storm inside for himself, not letting anybody to touch it. His words, his face kept me struggling to understand the LIFE throughout the journey back from Bijnaur. I was not able to see through my thoughts and our driver was striving equally hard to find the road. It was worst of the fog, with visibility of just a meter or so, same was the state of my mind. I was not able to see anything, think anything. Trying hard to accept the unknown power, his ways to manage the existence, unsuccessful attempt to find some good in it, loads of Whys. Answer was sitting next to me in that small car which was struggling to move forward, driver just aiming to keep in sight the white strip along the divider. I found my answer in Gaurav's descriptions of his childhood at Modinagar, his trademark laughter, his energy, his comments full of life.
The Life must go on, same were the words of Vikas' Father, The Life must go on...
Comments
It makes one wonder...the uncertainty of it all. and to make sure that i tell my friends... my friend, i am sorry if i have hurt you in any way, coz come tomorrow, if i am not there, i may not be able to say this to you.. and then i may not be able to rest in peace.